One of the hottest things in the world of SOE right now is content farming, but as with any new technique, there are more so-called experts getting it wrong than getting it right.  I was recently privileged to spend some time with one of the world’s leading content farmers – Level 5 SOE Guru Arthur Giles – who told me how anyone at SOE Tier 4 or above with a skill rating of +17 can build their own content farm using a robot and a squirrel.

Getting Your Content

There are more than 200 people who are currently owning internets, and all of these people need to make their own webs  using a clever combination of words and HTMLs.  Most internets can be accessed at no cost by normal users on home computers with either a Chrome or a FireFox.  What a lot of the website makers do not know is that normal internets can also be used by robots who are also interested in reading the world wide web when not working in factories, flying through space or destroying small cities.

One of the advantages of being an SOE expert with  a +17 skill level is that you are able to build your own robot that can be programmed to simply read the internet all day, and copy the pages it finds into a dating base:

A Web Robot Eating the Internets

A Web Robot Eating the Internets

The web robot can travel from one internet to another using its wheel and then suck web pages into the dating base using a special scooper that emits low frequency eigenvectors.  Once it has the internets in its scoop, they are put straight into the dating base.

Using the Squirrel

Once the internets are stored safely in your dating base,  you will need to use something called a squirrel to get them back out.  These are not the kind of hairy rats that you see in trees, but a special kind of squirrel that was genetically modified in Russia during the cold war.  Instead of crawling around trees finding nuts like proper squirrels, they are crawl around the dating base looking for whatever you want them too.

To run your content farm properly, you will need to get both kinds of squirrel.  There is a short tail variant that looks at the top of the data, and a longer tail one that can go much deeper into the dating base in order to find more of the content that your web robot has put in:

A Data Squirrel in its natural habitat

A Data Squirrel in its natural habitat

From time to time you will need to replace your squirrels with newer versions because they can become tired and also become lazy and start reading the webs that you have rather than just collecting them and bringing them back.  This is bad because they might get clever and not want to do any more working for you.

What to do

You will need to buy a special internet for yourself in order to let real people look at your webs on their computer, and then all you need to do is write an instruction matrix for the squirrel to let it know what the person wants to read.  Although the Squirrel can become intelligent, they are usually pretty stupid, so you should make the system simple for them with a computer programme.

The best content farms use a simple “interface” which is designed to look like a face.  Get your users to type what they are looking for into the mouth bit, and then the computer can tell the squirrel what to look for:

A Typical Web Page

A Typical Web Page

Your computer programme to tell the squirrel what to do should look like this:

10 get INPUT_FROM_MOUTHBOX
20 go_to DATING_BASE
30 find INPUT_FROM_MOUTHBOX in DATING_BASE
40 put RESULTS on COMPUTER

This tells the squirrel to go to the dating base and find all the web pages that are in there which include the subject that the user wants to read about.  It will then print them on the screen.

Profit

There are a small number of companies who want to advertise on the internet, and some of them will pay as much as £1 to appear on your pages!!!!  All you need to do to take advantage of this is to reserve some of the page for their adverts.  You could even set up a second dating base of people who want to advertise on your content farming pages and then use a different squirrel to find the ones that match the things that your users are looking for, however it is important to note that you will need a skill rating of +23 and be a level 7 SOE Expert to be able to write the complicated programming that is needed for that kind of thing!

Namaskara.