Aside from the four figure salary, and the satisfaction of getting one of my keywords into the top 20 results, one of the most rewarding things about being a world leading SOE expert is the endless adulation. At some searching conferences, I can barely move for young up and coming SOE wannabes waving pieces of paper at me to beg for an autograph and a ranking tip.
Sometimes this goes too far however, and it is not unusual for sneaky black cap SOEs to try and steal my top secret techniques by sitting next to me and trying to catch a glimpse of my notes. Until recently, I thought that this underhand behaviour was only being done by the darker SOE types, however, in a shocking development it seems that The Googler may well be using a special sniffing technology to steal secret information from SOE professionals.
Rumour has it that the Googler uses a special car and drives around looking for people who are using computers, and then injects a probe into their internet to steal some of their mega bites:
No-one is completely certain why the Googler should be so keen to steal other peoples internets, as it is widely believed that it already has more than 700 webs inside its dating centre, although I have my suspectings.
I think that the Insiders at the Googleplex have discovered that someone has cracked the secret code of what will make a website go number one forever. This could have potentially put them somewhere close to a red alert. They would need to find out where the secret is hidden and the easiest way to do it is to scan every single internet to find it.
The safest way to stop the Googler sniffing through your cgi bin is to use a firing wall. This simple device stops unwanted internets from getting into your computer.
Stay safe out there.